Depression strikes again

This is one of those days or we can say one of those weeks... I know I struggle with depression and really bad social anxiety. I really wish I did not, but I do. I guess the season don't help and the fact that I really try so hard to fit in but I just don't feel like I do. I so remember the days when I had so many friends it was almost like they fought over me but now I have No girlfriends, my husband works all the time and I truly have the most dysfunctional family ever. I just get so down that I don't won't to move. Food and bed seem to be my only comfort. I feel so bad because I have to most wonderful kids and yet I am to busy being depressed. I so know it is a fact, that you can not control depression and the social anxiety that I have. I cannot wait to go to the doctor and hope to get on medication. That also could be a problem for me, we don't have health insurance and I have had back surgery, so I really hurt. It is not easy, then I feel guilty for always being down when I know of so many people that are having hard times but I really cannot control it. New Years resolution # 1... find a way to deal with my personal problems, #2 I need friends