Sunday, January 30, 2011

Forgiveness is such an easy word, but so hard to do when you been hurt

From the words of one of my favorite Kellie Pickler song, "forgiveness is such an easy word, but it is so hard to do, when you been hurt." How true is that, I have had to do alot to forgiveness this past month but God has helped me and I did it. I think I finally gave my first ex husband for the way he did my precious kids and I forgave my husband for some small things and it was pretty easy to forgive him because I love him.
 About a month ago I messed up when I seen my ex husband on Facebook. I seen his picture and I could not help but send him a couple of words. I wish I would have just let it go but.... well he wrote me back and all the things he said did not bother me because I truly believe that neither of us had feelings for each other. It had to be the worst 4 years of my life but every broken road led me straight to hear so I will take it. One of the things he told me and gave me facts too, was that while I was working, he slept with one of my "best friends"!! Wow!! that cut like a knife. I really don't care what he did because I am sure she is not the only one but I thought my friend was a true friend. I know that is the past but I just hate to find out that I was made another fool by someone. I keep trying to forget about it but it just want go away yet. I am praying for God to help me because this is something that God will have to take over. I know this is beyond my control. I seen her since then and I told her what my ex said and by the look in her face, I know it is true. I already knew it was true from all the facts he gave me but, I know it is over and I will heal but I know I got to heal without her. God knows I love this girl, I have really stood by her but I see that I must let her go and I know I still must forgive them both because God tell me too but I know I can also let her go. I am working on the forgiveness part.   
    Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.(NIV)
I know the Lord forgives me everyday and he died for my sins. My heart is just heavy at the moment but the Lord will see me through! I know if the wrong person reads this they will wonder why I put this out there but this is my blog and my way to heal. Sorry, I did not mention any names.

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